Quote I the day

Dad: Mimi, did you know your cousin has skizofretnia?

That’s schizophrenia for anyone who doesn’t have a foreign dad…


Breaking up is hard enough

Dad: “Hey Mimi, sorry you break up wit your boyfriend.”

Me: “Well actually he broke up with me…”

Dad: “WHAT?! You show me someone better looking or smarter than my Mimi! YOU SHOW ME ONE PERSON! Well… maybe your sister…”


Al-beano

Dad: “Hey Mimi let’s go to Taco Bell”

Me: “Dad, you know you can’t eat like that anymore.”

Dad: “No no it is OK I take Albino”

Me: “…what?”

Dad: “Albino, I take Albino and I don’t have problem”

Me: “Dad, you know what Albino means, right? It’s someone with no pigmentation”

Dad: “..no it is a pill that makes you not fart”

Me: “I think you mean Beano…”


Comb your hair

Dad: “Mimi, you look depressed. Is it because you have no boyfriend? Maybe if you combed your hair people wouldn’t think you’re a lesbian.”

Check out the full story here: http://amrikanlife.wordpress.com/2012/01/17/no-persian-dad-wants/


Blog!

Hey everyone!

If you like this Tumblr, you should check out the blog I just made called “Amrikan Life”.

Check it out: http://amrikanlife.wordpress.com/


Depressed

Dad: “Mimi, your mom told you’re depressed. You need to exercise.”

Me: “Yeah dad I did, I just feel a little sad.”

Dad: “Why? Now you have boyfriend.”

Me: “I mean just because I have a boyfriend doesn’t mean I’m instantly happy…”

Dad: “Ok you go call your boyfriend and you be happy.”

Me: “Dad, I’ll be fine, I don’t need him for everything.”

Dad: “Ok, you sad because you not married?”


Diversity Day

Dad: “See Mimi, this is how this America is becoming… every time I read the newspaper I see someone Asian!”

Me: “Dad America is really diverse, it’s not like there are only asians.”

Dad: “Yeah well always I see Asian names. Like Chung, Yang,……Chung…”


On the Run

Me: “Dad, why do you look terrified?”

Dad: “Mimi, I go to wikileaks yesterday and now I believe Julian Assange knows”

Me: “Dad… Julian Assange is in jail number one, and number two a lot of people go to wikileaks, it’s fine.”

Dad: “No! My browser, it now goes to a very very weird foreign site, I believe Julian Assange is hacking my computer! Come look at!”

Me: “….Dad that’s BBC… it’s a news site…”


A Liberal Education

Dad: “You know what Mimi, I am happy you finally found boyfriend. Now I don’t have to pretend to my friends that you are straight.”

Me: “Dad… you don’t have to pretend… I AM straight.”

Dad: “Then why you have no boyfriend for a while??”

Me: “Just because I don’t have a boyfriend, doesn’t mean I’m gay.”

Dad to mom: “What are these kids learning at that liberal university?!”


Lost in Translation

Dad to uncle Joe: “You know what, he can go bankrupt, I don’t give chit!”

Uncle Joe to me: “What’s chit?”

Me: “I think he’s trying to say he doesn’t give a shit”

Uncle Joe: “Oh good, for a minute there I thought I was having a stroke.”


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